< back to blog
december
28, 2021

People say that everything is cyclical. Well, do people really say that? I hope they do since I made that up just now. I would like to tweak this statement a little by saying that everything is rather like a cosine graph. At birth, we start up top--what's better than consciousness? Our life after that, right of the y-axis, is just a series of ups and downs. December has been an "up" month. I don't feel much holiday cheer in the air, but I sure do feel some sense of hope. And girl, I think it's coming from me! I feel so hopeful and optimistic about the future, and I feel like I've got my priorities lined up.

material love
My dad's been in India for the whole month on vacation, and he's graciously allowed me to drive his car to school and back for the month. I can't express how grateful I am for this--these WA Decembers are no joke! Anyways, I'm pretty much done driving it since it's now winter break, but I gave it a LOT of TLC before I was done. I removed a bunch of scratches with this scratch solution from Amazon, with a lot of elbow grease. I gave it a good vacuum and wipedown, and finally rinsed some dirt off the exterior with the hose. I was so proud of how clean and shiny it looked. And since I was out there, I totally cleaned out the garage too. There' so much more space back there! That, along with the shiny clean car, made for a very productive second day of break.
I know how Buddha said to let go of material possesions, but what do I do when some of them truly bring me joy? Like a shiny clean car, and my new chestnut Melina Pants that go with everything, especially my brown cropped sweater? Not kidding on that--I wore that outfit on the last day before break and I felt amazing! I think it's okay to cherish items that bring you happiness, sort of like Ms. Kondo says. Minimalism isn't for everyone, and it may actually be less sustainable than we think. Deprivation will eventually lead to desire, and throwing stuff away all the time means lots of waste.

unplugging
I deactivated my Instagram account, so nowadays I'm really living as a hermit. The snowy weather for all winter break isn't discouraging my hermit-ry either. As I look out the window right now, the whirling snow looks just like December's GIF on my blog. I don't hate the snow as much as I let on--I love the crunch it makes under my boot. I might even finally try skiing one day, when I have a friend who's patient enough to teach me. I shoveled the hell out of the driveway today morning, but I'm sure my hard work will be foiled by the onslaught of new flurries. That's okay. It felt good to go outside and really work myself after many days of break. This constant alone time really reminds me of early summer 2021. I wasn't unhappy or anything, but it's definitely a unique feeling to go weeks without talking to anyone but your parents. For the most part, I weirdly love being shut off from civilization. Call me Henry David because I'm being especially Thoreau with this isolation. Having time to catch up my LOTR volume, listening to old playlists, planning out every hour of the day--it's a privilege.

in the air for 2022
My, my, my. I remember in 6th grade we had to enter our graduation year for some software sign up. Graduation year... for college or high school? When the teacher told us all to enter "2022" I reckoned it was some far off year that had nothing to do with me. But here it is! My graduation year. 2022 has a nice ring to it, a nice rhythm and balance as it rolls off the tongue. I hope my final semester of high school will roll away in a similar manner. I'm already over it, to be honest. I don't hold one ounce of sentiment for my school, except for maybe my APES or ceramics classes, or AP Calc AB. My view towards my school is so neutral, so anticlimactic, that it almost feels disappointing. But then I remind myself that this is only high school, a blip in the grand scheme of my life.. Maybe if I'm lucky, my winter break will be extended because of this snow.

thanks for reading about my winter hibernation/hermit tendencies. stay warm, see you next time!